Minime1100's Journals

Thanx for my freedom

Am I going crazy?

Or are you blaming me

For everything that happened?

You tell me Iâ�™m just jealous

That Iâ�™m taking things and stuff

Out of proportion

But it is you that is crazy

Cause you have never bothered to

Open your eyes or take off the blinkers

Cause if you were to ever open your eyes or take them off

You would have seen that something was wrong

You would have seen that our friendship was just a joke to you

I was just someone you could boss around

Someone you got to do your bidding

Someone you could make fun of

Someone you could push around

I was just someone you took advantage of

You knew my kindness was always there for you

And you used it to your advantage

So all I got to say is

Thank You

For showing me I could stand up for myself against you

And for showing me how much this long

Friendship meant to you

And

Thank You

For showing me how much you trusted me

And how much I couldnâ�™t trust in you

Thank You

For keeping secrets from only me

And well all the so called good times we had?

I now can see how it was all fake

You never cared about me but I cared for you

So well itâ�™s a long friendship over now

So all I got to say is

Thank You

For letting me go free and letting me Relax

And well you will always remember me and

When it comes to it all going wrong you will wish I was there

I will never forget the pain and stress you put me through

So againâ�¦â�¦â�¦

Thank You

For letting me go and

Giving me my FREEDOM

what people think

to some people i am always happy

but to myself i am all alone

to some i need to be more freindly

but to myself i am as friendly as i can be

to some i am a freak

but to me they are the freaks

to some i am wierd

but to me i am normal

to some i am too hot headed

but to me i am a lil unco-operative

to some i am strange

but to me they are strange

to some i just shouldnt be here

but to me they are just jelouse

to some i am too quiet

but to me they should just talk first

well i am all of those and more realy

but to me i am who i am and i will never change that

welkom to my life

i feel empty

i feel dead

i feel invisible

i dont know what to do

i hate everything right now

i feel like i have on one

i feel like my world is falling apart

i feel like i am beeing used

i dont know what to do

i always thaught i had everything under control

i always thaught i had some one around

i always thaught i was loved

i dont know if i was right

i feel like i was wrong all this time

was i wrong all this time?

was it all in my emagination?

was it a dream?

i dont know what to do

i hate myself and everything right now

i end up crying myself to sleep

i end up curling into a ball

just to feel like i am not all alone but i am

i need some one to hold me and keep me comfort

but that will never happen

i go to sleep by myself and wake up cold and lonely

all i ask for is comfort

someone to hold me

to keep me company

but my world is empty, cold and black

i am all alone and i dont want to be

but i am seeing someone and i still feel this way

is there something wrong with me???

i feel like he doesnt like me and i am back to beeing all alone

he tells me that he does like me and we do have a good time together

but i still feel all alone

please tell me is there something wrong with me???

is this all in my head???

am i insaine for feeling this way???

i need help

can anyone help me???

this lonely girl with her world crumbling down on her

POEM.........kill me

POEM

I am angry

Upset

Pissed off

I hate the world

And wish I would die

I am useless

I am worthless

I will never be loved

I will never be liked

Everyone hates me and that is how

It is always going to be

I canâ�™t do anything right

I am useless at everything

Even living

I donâ�™t know why I am even alive

I think it is just a joke to god to keep me alive

Like I am one big shitty comedy show for him

I whish I would die and get my pathetic useless life over with

KILL ME NOW I DONâ�™T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE

I am a waist of energy time space and air

KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!

a poem i think

THE CONFUSTION

i am dating someone

i dont know if i like him

well i like him but im not sure

if i like him in that way

i love beeing with him

he makes me laugh

he makes me smile all the time

he is so much fun to be with

i cant stop thinking of him

i dont want to be away from him

i am so confused

i dont know what to do

i know he likes me

we dont know eachother that well

but yet i just cant stop thinking of him

what does that mean???

we even have cute lil nicknames for eachother

but yet we dont know eachother that well

we have desided we are dating

but i am just so confused in everything i do

i do like him now that i think about it

but i dont know im just confusing myself

i am just so confused

yes yes yes i do like him

ok i have desided i like him

and he likes me

so i do think this will work out

i jope it lasts longer than my last one

i do like him more

so now its just a fact

of how long will it last???

what people think

what people think

to some people i am always happy

but to myself i am all alone

to some i need to be more freindly

but to myself i am as friendly as i can be

to some i am a freak

but to me they are the freaks

to some i am wierd

but to me i am normal

to some i am too hot headed

but to me i am a lil unco-operative

to some i am strange

but to me they are strange

to some i just shouldnt be here

but to me they are just jelouse

to some i am too quiet

but to me they should just talk first

well i am all of those and more realy

but to me i am who i am and i will never change that

this is just something i wrote

welkom to my life

i feel empty

i feel dead

i feel invisible

i dont know what to do

i hate everything right now

i feel like i have on one

i feel like my world is falling apart

i feel like i am beeing used

i dont know what to do

i always thaught i had everything under control

i always thaught i had some one around

i always thaught i was loved

i dont know if i was right

i feel like i was wrong all this time

was i wrong all this time?

was it all in my emagination?

was it a dream?

i dont know what to do

i hate myself and everything right now

i end up crying myself to sleep

i end up curling into a ball

just to feel like i am not all alone but i am

i need some one to hold me and keep me comfort

but that will never happen

i go to sleep by myself and wake up cold and lonely

all i ask for is comfort

someone to hold me

to keep me company

but my world is empty and cold and black

i am all alone and i dont want to be

my lifes lyrics

this is how my life feels right now and basicly everyday but i just dont show it

and this is a simple plan song just incase you didnt know

"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

well this is the survey i did

CUTE SURVEY!! TAKE IT! WHO WOULD U DATE? JON OR SPENCER Spenc THONGS OR UNDIES? undies WHAT WOULD U DATE? EMO OR PREPPY BOY emo WHAT CARTOON CHARACTER DO U THINK ITS HOT? idk GUYS WITH BOXER OR TIDY WHITIES? boxers GREEN OR BROWN EYES? either JELOUS GUYS OR I DONT CARE GUYS? a lil of both IM OR TEXING? either SEX OR KISSING? both BLOW JOB OR BLOW POP? none HORNY GUY OR VIRGEN? either BRACES OR TONGUE PIERCED? tongue pierced.......dont bother me realy GUYS ARE PIGS OR DOGS? pigs as dogs r nice and guys aren't MYSPACE OR BUZZNET? buzznet SKINNY OR FULL FIGURED? full figured PIERCINGS OR TATTOS? both COLOR OF HAIR? brown HALLOWEEN OR CHRISTMAS? halloween 13 GHOSTS OR SAW 2? 13 ghots SUPERNATURAL OR CHARMED? charmed........well both realy SAM OR DEAN?? FROM SUPERNATURAL dean LIPGLOSS OR LIPSTICK?? gloss SIX FLAGS OR DISNEY LAND? idk BOYFRIENDS OR GUY FRIENDS? i get mostly guy friends ARE U DATING? no IF YES NAME? NAUGHTY OR NICE? a bit of both P!ATD OR F.O.B.? too hard to choose WHAT DO U THINK OF ME?? you are sweet and kind and a lovly person to talk to
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Part 10

part 10

But then she had realised something that she thaught would never happen she remembered the time she spent with her friend Gavin and how much he realy cared about her and would do anything for her.

Well she just wanted to know how she felt about him and so she asked if he want ed to go for some drinks. he said yes.

They whent to the pub and they were talking about a big load of shit like always. they the next thing Sadie know she is kissing Gavin.

She pulls away quickly, and says "im so sorry i know we r friends but i couldnt help my......."*said all flusted
Gavin cuts her off and putts his finger on her lips to keep her from talking. She just sits there and lokks into his eys and then he leans forward and kisses her. She just sits there and smiles a lil and kisses him back.

They then sit there and look at eachother for a while. Gavin then said "lets go..." Sadie said "go where?" "i donk now for a lil walk" "ok if u want 2"

so tell me wat u think kk